release

Did you feel the pent-up fanboy tension? On November 21, the impending release of the Xbox360 was more eagerly anticipated than Jessica Alba’s first big-screen nude scene. So far, Jessica no plans to give up the goods, but everyone with a Y chromosome knows it’ll be totally awesome when she does.

Compare that thought to what happened at 12:01 am, November 22nd. Months of hype had convinced gamers everywhere that the Xbox360 would be the gaming console equivalent of full frontal Dark Angel. It had all the potential, too: raw power, media center functionality, enhanced online gaming features, and graphics so fine you could count the pores in her cleavage when you pop in the Director’s Unrated Cut DVD.

Despite all that potential, the 360 launch turned out more like Anna Nicole Smith before she found TrimSpa. Gamers who got the console and those who didn’t all had ample reason to grumble. Launch day distribution was a disaster, quality control was seriously flawed, and the games plagued with bugs.

From the distribution angle, Microsoft badly undersupplied the overheated demand. Major outlets like Best Buy, Target, and Wal-Mart received as few as ten consoles to hand out among dozens of overnight campers. Many hard-core gamers, those who would have been the front line of the viral campaign for the console and its games, went home empty-handed and angry. Some would turn to eBay, where bids hit multiple thousands of dollars. In the meantime, no one seems to know whether more consoles are coming tomorrow or March 2006.

Those who were lucky enough to get consoles often fell victim to predatory bundling. The major chains took advantage of the grossly unbalanced supply/demand curve to add unwanted accessories and games into “bundles” - adding hundreds of dollars to the already-high list price of the 360. Microsoft did nothing to prevent the mandatory bundling even though it easily could have limited bundling as a condition of delivery - especially on the first shipment.

Mere hours after the first consoles entered service, the first reports of system failure rolled in. Some consoles repeatedly overheated. Some games wouldn’t play properly on any console. The stories flying around the internet, reinforced by Microsoft’s already poor reputation among the neterati, only cemented 360’s reputation as a buggy mess.

So how did Microsoft find itself in this position? In a word, jailbait. The 360 wasn’t ready to meet the lusty demands of the slavering gamers market. In its annual effort to rush a hot item to launch in time for the holiday shopping season, Microsoft introduced an immature product. They clearly haven’t had time to work all the kinks out of the hardware, and as for the games… well, let’s just say that certain football titles will be needing a service pack before they become playable. In the meantime, Microsoft has done itself incalculable damage. They have alienated thick segments of their core fanboy market - those who snapped up or tried to snap up the console on launch day. They have given their numerous critics more ammunition than they could ever have come up with on their own. In the process, they may have blown their opportunity to lock up the gaming market before the other third generation consoles come out next year.

If Microsoft doesn’t quickly move to fix the problem, some of these gamers just might discover girls. And then Microsoft will never get them back.

UPDATE: Via Kotaku, this USA Today article reports:

Microsoft’s Molly O’Donnell says the company has “a weekly replenishment strategy.” The first follow-up shipment “is on the way, and it should be on retailers’ shelves by the end of the week or for the weekend.”

Now all they need is a way to install airbags in the console.