release

It’s as if there hasn’t been a decent movie made in the last fifteen years.

Tonight, I browsed my local mega-super-video-rental store, sifting through rack after rack, aisle after aisle, section after section, finding thousands of examples of steaming feces digitized and forever preserved to plastic disc so that, centuries from now, archaeologists can decode, analyze, and catalog our shame.

Not too many years ago, I seem to remember movies were worth watching. Now they’re all either propaganda, teen sex comedies, or low-budget horror flicks with the words “jackhammer” and “massacre” in the title.

I wish that last example was a joke, but it’s not. This fall, don’t be surprised to see “Arizona Shop-Vac Massacre” in a DVD store near you. At least you’ll know that’s supposed to suck.