Pretty Lady

I turned 40 yesterday. A quick look around the dinner table – my parents, my wife and kids, my sister and her family – I reflected on what accomplishments are truly important.

These are mine.

It’s the most important thing I’ve ever done in my life, and the one I’m proudest of.

Not just the getting married part. Heck, any two adults with the church-and-state approved mix of X and Y chromosomes can do that. What few people will tell you going in: it’s not the wedding – it’s the marriage that matters.

Nine years ago I married the love of my life. Today our relationship is as strong as its ever been, perhaps even stronger. And sometimes I wonder how it is that we managed to build this life together and why it feels so solid. I can think of two things.

First, we picked each other. Neither one of us, at first, met the arbitrary checklists we had in mind for potential mates – she wanted to marry a good Catholic boy and I was hoping to meet someone I could bring back to Florida quickly – but once we put all that aside, we discovered that we shared the fundamental values that we would eventually want to instill in our children. We don’t always agree, but we always respect each other and the little differences don’t matter much.

Second, we don’t consider failure an option. Both sets of our parents are still together after four decades of marriage. It’s not that our parents haven’t struggled at times, but they always chose the path that kept them together. The choices our parents made, we too have made. Even in our wedding, we chose symbols of life-long partnership. Instead of numbering tables, we named them after traditional anniversary gifts. Instead of tossing a bouquet, we gave it to the married couple that had been together the longest. (Uncle Lenny and Aunt Mildred – then at 55 years.) Small things – but over the course of a lifetime, it’s the small choices that decide how the course of your life flows. Dineen and I choose to be together because we cannot imagine doing anything else.

Someday, our children, in relationships of their own, will be able to look to us as an example and understand what it means to choose to share your life – your whole life – with another person. And if we keep doing what we’re doing, then our children will want to do it this way as well.

(Enjoy a few more wedding pictures)

UPDATE: Holy cow, our wedding page is still online!

Seven years ago today I married the love of my life. Since then, we’ve had three different homes, lives in two different states, collectively held a half-dozen jobs, and added two amazing new people to the planet.

One thing that hasn’t changed is how easy it is for me to love this woman.

Of all the things I’ve done right in life, the most important one is this, by a long shot: I found Dineen, and convinced her to make our lives together. And our lives are both impossibly better for it.

Seven down, 993 to go.

We are proud to announce the birth of Nathaniel Dennis Wasylik, born at 8:17 pm on Wednesday, December 28.

He arrived with emphasis, weighing in at 9 pounds, 7 ounces, and measuring 22 inches in length.

Mother and son are happy, healthy, and looking forward to coming home in a couple of days. Nate is also looking forward to meeting his big brother Alex.

Dineen has been having contractions this morning so it looks like we’ll be headed to the hospital.

Other updates will be at the Kid’s Corner blog.

Dineen’s just about ready to pop, except that she’s not really ready to pop yet.

Dineen found that an Amazon.com search for “christmas stocking” includes some results which might surprise Mrs. Claus.