Dear Seminoles:

When history looks back on the tenure of Bobby Bowden, it will remember three of his teams. The first two are obvious: they are the teams that won a national championship under his guidance, first in 1993 and again in 1999. The third team? By an accident of timing, that team is you – the one that will walk onto the field with him for the last time in a few short weeks.

It hasn’t been the year that any Seminole fan has hoped for. In fact, this year has seen the worst record that any Seminole team has posted in decades. Apart from a few highlights, like the upset of BYU, this season has seen mostly heartbreak and disappointment.

And the biggest disappointment? It’s the way that the administration has treated the man who built this legendary program from almost nothing. It’s as if they forgot that the man coaching this team is the same one to whom they erected a statute outside the field that bears his name. The way this administration has treated Bobby Bowden in the twilight of his career will be a permanent stain on the school, and may do more long-term damage than even a decade of losing seasons could have done.

But you, his players and his coaching staff… you have a chance to make everyone forget, if only for a day, everything that’s gone wrong with this year. You have one game left, a bowl game, probably against an opponent weaker than many others you’ve played this year.

This is your chance to do the one thing you must do: make it the game that Bobby Bowden wants to remember for the rest of his life.

Let your coach feel, just one more time, what it’s like to completely dominate an opponent. Offense, your job is to score 30, 40, even 50 points. You’ve done that once this season – dig deep and do it again. Rain pigskin-covered bombs into the end zone. Stuff five-yard and ten-yard runs down your opponents’ gullet. Break off a few razzle-dazzle plays that our current vocabulary cannot even describe. Make your opponent’s defense show first their fear, and then their acceptance of defeat.

Defense, don’t just stop your opponents; score some points of your own. You should tear through the offensive line like the paper covering the tunnel at the pregame. You should plant the quarterback in the backfield like a tree. You should pick interceptions out of the air like golden apples and convert them into six-point returns.

For this last game, you should bleed for your coach, and you should die for your coach, with nothing left at the end of the game but resounding victory.

In short, Seminoles, you should play like Seminoles.

Because when Bobby Bowden leaves the field of play for the last time, he should look at the scoreboard and forget, for a moment, that it’s no longer 1993. He should go into the tunnel soaked with Gatorade. He should leave, not on his own feet, but on the shoulders of the team he built from scratch, celebrated as the legend he is.

Seminoles, you owe this much to Bobby Bowden. Make him feel, just one more time, like a champion. Play like champions. Just one more time, let Bobby Bowden leave the playing field…

Unconquered.

(Source / Rights )

So how come I never met this guy? He lives in Florida, is an FSU fan, a Mac user, and a Halo player. I’m sure we’d get along famously.

My Orlando friends have some ‘splainin to do.

Last year at this time I stated:

We could go 2-7 next year, and if the two were Miami and Florida I’d call it a successful season.

Unfortunately, I was eerily prophetic on how bad this season would be. But as this game kicks off, there is hope.

The reader should be aware that I am watching this on TiVo time-delay and I’m about an hour behind live. Don’t ruin my surprise.

I’ve rarely been so happy to hear a pass ruled incomplete. But if De’Cody Fagg had played through the whistle like he was supposed to, that wouldn’t even have been a replay.

Hey, the defense came today. How quaint. Almost like the good old days.

Chris Hetland is 0 and 7 for FG kicks more than 30 yards. Oh, wait, make that 0 and 8. (Was that Wide Right?) As one of the sportscaster drones noted, “You’d think at Florida you’d be able to find a kicker.”

Hey, Chris Davis showed up today, and he brought the offense with him. Sweet.

You’d think at Florida State we’d be able to find a kicker, too. Missing five of your last six means we need to start looking.

Ugly. No excuse to let a screen pass reception turn into a TD. Apparently our defense only showed up for a cameo.

At the end of the first quarter, the Gators lead 7 – 0, but it’s all tied up at ugly – ugly.

The reason Graham Gano is such a good punter? Practice makes perfect.

Even my three year old son is questioning the execution of the Seminole defense.

Another missed field goal by the Gators – this game is stuck on ugly.

Perhaps we should break this string of three-and-outs. I’m thankful that this is Jeff Bowden’s last game in Tallahassee.

The break-in scores just let me know that the Univeristy of South Florida Bulls are beating West Virginia 14 – 6. So next year, I’ll be able to go watch a successful football team if I choose.

End of the half, still ugly, Gators still leading 14 – 0.

I can’t keep track of who has the ball – as soon as I figure it out, BAM! Another turnover.

FSU touchdown – another home-field shutout averted.

Opening the fourth quarter, both teams still ranking high on the ugly scale.

But wait! Weatherford connets to the receiver in the end zone for a touchdown, and now it’s tied. We could still win this.

Note to the Gators offense: the option is not an option.

Ack. Dallas Baker caught one in the paint for put the Gators back up by a TD, and Hetland shows that his incompetence is limited to field goals, not PAT’s.

Even though the ‘Noles’ 98-yard return turned out to be a mere 45-yard return due to the out-of-bounds foot at the 47, Florida’s special teams have got to be demoralized knowing they just got owned. The ‘Noles are definitely perked up.

Ok, going for fourht-and-3 is a coaching call, and one I agree with under the circumstances. But come on, Jeff, don’t you have a plan to pull it out when they blitz?

Another fourth-and-short, another missed chance. Stll down 21-14 with under 3:00 left on the clock. But does anyone still believe these Gators could play in the same stadium as Ohio State?

1:32 on the clock, passing from our own endzone. I’d rather be them than us right now,except then I’d have nausea-inducing colors and the third-best football tradition in the state.

4th and 4, from our own endzone. This is the whole game. Taking the snap at your QB’s ankles kinda puts the damper on that. Gators’ ball, no time-outs, reptiles take a knee. Crap. What bowl gives invites to teams that finish out 6 and 6?

Since Jeff Bowden took the job as Florida State’s offensive coordinator in 2000, FSU has never finished in the top ten. This past weekend, FSU was blown out and shut out at home by Wake Forest.

Yesterday, he did the honorable thing and resigned. (Later breaking news revealed that the FSU Boosters agreed to pay him half a million dollars to do it.)

The bad news is that FSU is considering Donald Rumsfeld as a possible replacement.

Which of the following teams are ahead of the Florida State Seminoles in one or more of the NCAA Football polls:

1. Boise State
2. ACC Rivals Clemson, Georgia Tech, Virginia Tech, AND Boston College
3. Rutgers
4. Every single team listed in 1, 2, and 3.

If you answered (4), you are unfortunately correct. Argh.

All quarters should begin with an FSU touchdown. That is my new policy. FSU ties it, 10 – 10, virtually guaranteeing this game comes down to a field goal.

A couple of very nice passes by Weatherford, and then we’re visiaully assaulted by Holly Rowe and her now-uncovered hathead. Could someone please keep this woman off camera?

Ah, that’s better, a nice pass completion deep inside the red zone. This shotgun thing is working now that Weatherford is actually catching the snap.

Did I say he was catching the snap? I meant, “recovering the fumbled snap for a ten-yard loss.” Oh, god, here comes the field goal unit.

Hey, Cismesia hits it for a 13 – 10 lead, and he’s 2 for 2 on the night. But that still means it’s a three point game. Ugh.

Miami, pinned to their own end-zone, needed to make something of this drive with three minutes left and haven’t done it. We need a couple of first downs to seal this game and avoid even the most remote possibility of Miami kicking a field goal to tie it.

With 1:08 left, the Canes get the ball back on their own 20 yard line. They need a field goal to tie. No time outs left.

0:33 on the clock, Canes at their own 25. Noles pick! Now THAT’s the way to end a game like this – on a high note, no stupid field goals.

The Noles show a lot of potential in this game, but it’s also pretty clear that we have a lot of work to do before the rest of the season hits.

First rule of the shotgun: catch the shotgun.

Really, this multiple camera angle approach on ESPN2 would be so much more interesting if there were a camera in the cheerleaders’ locker rooms. I really don’t care what the line judge is looking at.

First running yards of the season? A pointless run by Weatherford. Punt it away, boys!

Imagine the proud parents of those Miami students, on national TV, drunkenly flipping obscene gestures and chanting profanities on national TV. Well, except for the one on her cell phone apparently NOT having a good time.

Finally, some good news on the field: a miles-deep sack by Buster Davis. Fourth-and-punt back to us.

Nice pass to Fagg on the 40. Followed up a couple of plays later by a very nice dump to Booker who breaks free and brings it down to the 3. Next, a Davis catch on the one-inch line. Oops, up for review! We may get the TD. Nope, the play stands and time goes back on the clock. The quarter ends with FSU on the edge of tying the game.

On first sight, that Jenkins catch was out of bounds. Watching the replay, he had both feet in bounds, but the play is under review. I don’t think this one will get called back. Bad position for the good guys.

Or, we can just take fifteen yards back by sodomizing your QB. Unless you shave a couple of yards with a dead-ball penalty. Did I mention Miami’s new coaching staff features the Virgin Connie Swail?

More penetration of Miami’s line, stopping the run behind the line. Stupid spearing penalty – on Paul Griffin, who should know better than to risk breaking his neck spearing a ‘Cane who’s already down. Spear them when they’re still standing, Paul!

Running touchdown, Miami. Well, give ‘em enough tries from the 10 yard line, what do you expect? 7 – 3, Miami leads for now.

Thank God for TiVo, so I can watch a mere eyeblink of an eHarmony.com commercial. If you need a computer to tell who who you should date, you’ve got much bigger problems than being lonely. Put down the keyboard and get out of the house, people!

Miami fan sign: “Even the Seminole Players kNow Miami is #1″ – no, you meathead, we “kNow” that you don’t capitalize the second letter in a word unless you’re some kind of l33t hAcKeR d00d. Stupid 40-year-old script kiddie.

Ah, punting from our own end zone. Never a good sign. Ooops, unless the receiving team flubs it. Nice touch.

The way those lines drop down and wrap around the back of Miami’s uniforms makes it look like they’d pop open like a Pez dispenser if you hit them hard enough. Given Miami’s pass protection tonight, we’ll be testing that theory soon enough on Kyle Wright.

Well, on the Wright run it was his helmet that popped off, not his rib cage. Field goal follows, and it’s 10 – 3 Miami. Maybe Wright can call back with the score, from whatever day next week he was knocked into.

Argh, interception , but where there’s a flag, there’s hope. No, flag was on the return. Crap.

Now its Miami’s turn to put a deposit in the Stupid Penalty bank with a holding call.

What the hell is Holly Rowe wearing on her head? I thought female sideline reporters were supposed to be eye-candy, not paperboys.

Punting from the end zone, starting from inside our five, why not just spot them fourteen points and be done with it? Weatherford takes no chances and takes a knee to bring it into the locker room at 10 – 3.

Just before the halftime commercials:

Bobby on what’s gone wrong in the first half: blocking, blocking, blocking, and what the hell is that on your head, Holly?

Can Lou Holtz sound any more like he’s on meth-laced Geritol?

Miami flushed almost its entire coaching staff in the off season, booting everyone but Head Coach Larry Coker and the Ibis – possibly the dumbest mascot in all of college football, even counting the Delaware Blue Hens. The inexperience of this maiden coaching crew shows in the team’s play: Miami’s committed two very sloppy penalties – a delay of game and an offsides – giving FSU a first down in one instance.

FSU is penetrating Miami’s offensive line so deeply Paris Hilton would wince – even with ESPN’s “full circle” coverage.

Miami’s now blown its second timeout, apparently a result of the fog of war.

Good call on that “interception” in the closing minutes of the quarter. Don’t get too excited there, boys. Oh, just put 12 men on the field, that;s how you do it. Did I mention this is the maiden voyage of this coaching crew? (Hat tip to the lovely missus: “Did it surprise you that Miami can’t count?”)

A second delay of game call for FSU – why is everyone nellying around? Let’s play some football, guys.

End of quarter, 3 – 0 FSU. Could be a lot worse.

Both teams had so many chances to win this game and blew them all… we basically lost this one on a missed PAT in the first half.

That safety call was pretty much a crock, too.

But you get two coaches together like this, you know you;’re going to end up with a good game. At least it was entertaining.

And oh, yeah, hospital blowout guy… screw you still.

During our hospital stay for Nate’s arrival, I wore my Seminole slippers just about everywhere, including the elevator. One trip down to the culinary train wreck that was the hospital cafeteria, I held the elevator door for a rushed worker toting a heavy ladder. I was two days without meaningful sleep or satisfying nutrition, so I was totally unprepared for his opening conversational gambit:

You know your team is gonna get crushed in that bowl game, right?

I won’t even admit here how feeble my response was; just let’s say at that point I couldn’t remember what bowl game he was talking about or who our opponent was. If I hadn’t looked at my slippers to put them on, I might not have even remembered who my team was.

So tonight we play #3, Penn State. Will we be crushed? This season, if no other before it, has taught me to never say never. But I wasn’t optimistic about the ACC Championship, and look how that turned out. One thing I will say about Penn State is that they are overrated. Sure, they’re 10-1, but look at that schedule. The only really decent team they beat was Ohio State. The rest of the Big Ten was nothing special this year. Let’s look at bowl performances: Michigan, the only team to beat Penn State during the regular season, went down to an unranked Nebraska team in the Alamo Bowl. Minnesota, Northwestern, and Iowa all lost their bowls. Ohio State, already noted as the only decent opponent on PSU’s schedule this year, beat Notre Dame, and Wisconsin beat Auburn pretty handily. Not a stellar year for the Big Ten. South Florida, Penn State’s only out-of-conference opponent with a bowl big, got blanked by NC State in some bowl names after an auto-parts company. Judging by bowl results, winning the Big Ten is only as impressive as beating Ohio State. I think PSU’s #3 ranking may be somewhat inflated by a weak schedule.

Does that mean the Seminoles are a lock for tonight? Not by a long shot. I can tell you that Bobby Bowden and Joe Paterno (who, according to ESPN Radio, hates the name “Joe Pa”) are two legends in the game, and neither coach will dare underestimate the other. Both have had some rocky times in the last few seasons, but for different reasons – Bowden because his presence elevated the games of everyone else in the conference, Paterno because he was slow to adapt to changes in the game.

It’s gonna be a good game. And hey, Mr. “Your team’s gonna get crushed?” Screw you. A guy in a hospital, coming out of the newborn ward and wearing a hospital-issue plastic bracelet, holds the elevator door to make your life easier and you trash his team? Screw you twice.

I was really afraid coming into this game. We were coming off a three-loss roll, and Tech had one of the strongest defenses in the country. I needn’t have worried. Somehow, the offense put together a complete game and the defense held firm.

I had forgotten that Frank Beamer’s Hokies haven’t beaten the Seminoles in 11 matchups, including a national championship game with Michael Vick at the helm for VT. Tonight extended that streak to 12, and the Seminoles will be playing in this year’s Orange Bowl.

Whew.

And the special secret prize inside is that instead of suiting up for it, Miami got to watch this game on T.V.

Where was this team last week? 27 – 3, and the Noles have clearly unlocked the Hokies’ defense. Play-calling and execution on offense have been excellent, and our defense has held. It’s looking good!

Bobby Bowden has a Florida State Trooper escort at every game for security. It seems to be the same one all year long – a plum assignment for a highly senior trooper. Brent Musberger attributes the following quote to Coach Bowden’s current escort:

Coach, if you end up going to Idaho for a bowl game, you’re going alone!

It’s safe to say that even a loss tonight wouldn’t result in a trip to the Pocatello Au Gratin Bowl.

Shades of the 90′s!

FSU ran a punt back, seemingly hundreds of yards but probably only dozens, for a touchdown. On the following drive by Virginia Tech, FSU intercepted deep in their own territory. Weatherford strung together several medium-deep passes capped off with yet another touchdown. For a brief second I thought I was back in my twenties watching the ‘Noles of yesteryear.

Score: 17 – 3.

At halftime, we have a 3 – 3 tie. I expected Virginia Tech’s defense to play well, and FSU’s defensive effort has been a pleasant surprise. Only time will tell if we can keep it up.

After last week’s miserable performance, the Seminoles can tonight salvage a rough season and get a bid to a BCS bowl by beating Virginia Tech to win ACC Championship.

When FSU joined the ACC, it was primarily a basketball conference. The original teams, Duke, North Carolina, NC State, Virginia, Maryland, Clemson, Wake Forest, and Georgia Tech, had basketball championships to the rafters but few notable football successes. Florida State came to the party and has won or shared 11 conference football championships since. It has made its mark on the conference in other ways, as well.

Two national championships during that time have brought national attention to the ACC. Every school’s recruiting has benefitted from the increased national TV exposure. Two current head coaches, Tommy Bowden for Clemson and Chuck Amato for NC State, have served as assistant coaches for FSU’s paterfamilias, Bobby Bowden. FSU’s success has bred success at almost every program in the conference – even Maryland took a share of the ACC crown recently.

Within the last two years, the ACC’s transformation has become complete. The addition of perennial powerhouse Miami and strong contenders Boston College and Virginia Tech, make the ACC a serious threat for the national championship every year. The ACC’s teams always represent themsevles well among the country’s top-ranked colleges.

The ACC Chamionship, then, is worth playing for, and worth winning. It is a prize of substantial value. Even so, givent he choice I’d rather beat Florida than win the ACC.

Hasn’t stopped sucking yet.

This is really starting to suck.

It’s 17-0, Gators leading, and I’m still wondering when the bus will arrive that was supposed to bring my football team to Gainesville.

The halfwits in the broadcast booth have just said that this game is less important than next week’s ACC Championship game. Steve Spurrier used to say the same thing about the SEC Championship game. The idiot commentators said that Bobby Bowden must now feel the same way this year, the first year the ACC has a championship game.

We could go 2-7 next year, and if the two were Miami and Florida I’d call it a successful season. Anyone who thinks a conference championship is more important than those two games is making an excuse because he expects to lose them. Just like Spurrier always did.

My son not only likes to watch football; my son not only knows how to do the Seminole chop; he also knows to do it on the band’s cue. His mommy is so proud.