March 01, 2002

Krempasky the Guinness purist objects

Krempasky the Guinness purist objects to so-called "instant pints." Unfortunately, this is only the latest in a series of desperate attempts to market the Irish nectar to those who can't appreciate and don't deserve it.

Last March 17th, I had the occasion to head over to the Emerald Isle, where I made a pilgrimage to Mecca itself. I was stunned to see, in almost every pub around, a softly glowing sign on the end of each Guiness tap handle that assured me it would be served "Extra Cold."

In horror, I consulted the pint-puller. "When did they start doing that?" I demanded. He told me, about two years ago (now three) since the local Irish youth have taken a fancy to - brace yourself - American beer, and Guiness saw that as a way of competing with such widespread swill as Budweiser.

So now, instead of a slow, relaxed, temperate stout standing on its own merits, we have an instant, icy-cold brew that competes for the fickle attention of underserving youths with the likes of Budweiser.

Why not just finish off the job entirely? Water it down. Brew it with rice. Hook up the distillery tanks right to the bladders of the Clydesdales. After all, taste and tradition don't matter at the Guiness brewery - we're just out to make a buck, right?

Posted by wasylik at March 1, 2002 09:28 AM