06/16/98

Bushwhacked

Al Gore is in trouble... deep trouble. An early summer poll by Gallup and USA Today show that, if the Presidential election were held today, George Bush would beat Al Gore 50% to 46%. Some pundits, such as those folks at The New York Times, believe that George W. Bush, Governor of Texas, gets a big poll boost from folks who confuse him with his father, George Herbert Walker Bush, former Leader of the Free World. [Not to be confused with our current President, the Lecher-in-Chief.]

The Times described various pollsters' attempts to prevent this confusion, labeling George Jr. everything from "George Bush, Governor of Texas" to "George W. Bush of Texas" to "George Bush, who wants to slash Medicare, forcibly impregnate your daughter, pave the rainforest, and send your child to school with the ghost of Tupac Shapur." [We suspect the last one is from DNC pollsters.]

Even if it's true, that folks on the other end of the pollsters' phone lines can't tell the difference between the elder Bush and the newer, sleeker, comes-with-Microsoft-Explorer George Bush version 2.0, that still foretells a mighty crash coming for Al Gore. It means that more people than not would rather have the old, been-there-done-that, devil-we-know, made-Dan-Quayle-a-household-name, and don't-forget-to-read-my-lips George Bush, who peeked briefly out of Ronald Reagan's shadow before the populace booted him - that George Bush - rather than Al Gore. The "no new taxes unless Congress makes really mean faces at me" George Bush. The "let's send your sons and daughters to the godforsaken desert and then forget to finish the job we came for" George Bush. The "Dan Quayle is too embarrassed to mention his name because it might hurt his reputation as a serious politician" George Bush.

That's right - folks would rather have that George Bush in the White House again than Albert Gore, Jr. I don't know about you, but I think that news won't be welcome at the Naval Observatory.

I'll bet the 41st President is enjoying a heaping helping, served cold.

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